cone of shame goes to: michigan weather

dear weather,

i would like to sincerely thank you for raining on my one day off a week. i really appreciate how you're warm and sunny the other 6 days of the week while i am stuck in my windowless closet of an office till 10 o'clock at night. i love the sloshing sound and cold dampness of my pants during the one opportunity i have to go out and do something. keep it up champ!

love,
cat

happy mothers day

yea, thats right, i'm living vicariously through my cat, what of it? better her than me give birth to four kids in the span of an hour in the lining of a box spring. 

in other news, mothers day, may 12th 1985, was the birth of yours truly! best mothers day gift ever? damn straight.

happy cinco de mayo esse's!

i love how americans have turned a holiday celebrating mexican pride into getting shit faced and eating tacos.

may the fourth be with you

my sister's kids are awesome.

want your own little ewoks to rock these threads? check out my sister's etsy shop HERE

bridal bonanza!

this weekend consisted of lots and lots of bridal event fun in honor of my good friend val. i recommend that you do NOT eat at Ronin in royal oak. delicious food, awful service. i DO recommend marrying in to a rich jewish family, beautiful shower hosted by mother-in-law-to-be and her friends. jdate.com here i come!!

eggcellent!

so when it comes to coloring easter eggs two tone is about as creative as i get, and even then it usually ends in disaster. however, here are some bad ass easter eggs for your viewing pleasure. happy easter!

happy april 20th!

oh jesus, you judgernaut you. lol
buy it HERE

home and garden show shananigans

over the weekend i attended to home and garden show with coworkers since  my work had a booth there. i am not looking for anything to for my home nor my garden but i did have a jolly good time pretending to be interested at select booths, filling out fake information, and observing the interesting people there such as my friend above. he walked around for ages with a gatorade bottle on his head. i also thoroughly enjoyed the amish, their pedophile elephant (which my coworker proceeded to 'enjoy'), and vodka w/sierra mist. more pictures after the jump.

side note: the amish would out of no where grab children with out the cosent of the parents and put them on top of the elephant. this led to many angry mothers but a very entertained me.

fashion faux-pas or faux-hawk?

while flipping through old pictures, i was reminded how visors were once cool. it made me quite nostalgic of the fashion trend. which originally prompted this posting to be about pluses to visors in a feeble attempt to justify bringing them back in style. however, upon my web surfing to find the ideal visor picture, i stumbled across this:

that's right. visors with hair!  these hot new do's come in a variety of eye catching colors such as camo, flames, and the ever popular stars and stripes. nothing says patriotism like an out of style trend with a hedgehog growing out of the top. at first i was completely appalled by the idea, is it bad that upon further research i kind of want one? these bad boys are even the latest trend on the golf circuit as seen here worn by comedian/actor bill murray:

visors not your thing? have no fear! you can rock some fake hair in a variety of styles including bandanna and ski cap styles. hell yea.

i guess its nice to be humored...for a while that is...

couldn't resist posting this:

"This is very autobiographical. This is the cuteness of a girl versus how interested I am in hearing about how intuitive her cat is. You see, the cuter the girl is, the more I'm willing to hear about the cat. "Oh really?" "Yeah, he's very intuitive." But you'll notice, at a certain point, I don't care how cute you are. I don't wanna hear about your fucking cat anymore. I hate your cat. When you leave the room, I try to get it. "

one fish, two fish

i've recently aquired a fish tank, freecycled ala my friend's mom. caring for fish is a lot harder than it seems. i've already had 4 casualities from feeder fish (which were my test run of course) but recently also lost two more fish, which i might add were my two favorite fish, demontae and detective sargeant troy. upon further investigation i discovered i might have been feeding them too much (but they always looked so hungry!!) have no fear, for those of you much like myself who have fishies with an appetite, our problems may have been solved:

they'll have rock hard scales and fins of steel in no time! either this or i should cut down to feeding them once instead of twice a day.

vegetable of the day

So today was the birthday of James Bond producer Albert R Broccoli (April 5, 1909- June 27, 1996). So in honor of that, some James Bond related fun facts:

1. Shaking a martini actually dillutes in more than stirring and also chills it faster.

2. Roger Moore was in the most "official" Bond films (7 total). Sean Connery starred in 7 as well, but Never Say Never Again is not considered an official Bond film.

3. Timothy Dalton initially turned down the role of James Bond, feeling he was too young.

4. The real name of Pierce Brosnan's character on Remington Steele is never revealed on the show.

5. More American actresses starred in Bond films than actresses from any other country.

i did used to always want to eat the play doh...

in an attempt to be frugle, the idea of buying frozen chinese food at the grocery store seemed like a much more appealing idea than paying $30 for an entree and fried rice from a resturant. seemed being the key word here. even the container was shaped like a chinese take out box. what could possibly go wrong?

well chinese take out, you really are worth that extra $25.37. you know how play doh smells? well, thats how my food tasted today. do not want!

side note: the fried rice was not to shaby. but thats tai pei's only redeeming quality.

blech, listerine to the rescue!

new spin on an old classic

what better way to spend your sick day home from work than sitting in your pijamas, trolling the internet, and then deciding to blog about the junk you find. sounds like a pretty good idea to me. so for my first entry i would like to present to you all this little gem found on the interwebs (well, technically a friend found it on craigslist and posted the link on facebook while i took a break from trolling crap and switched to trolling people):

that's right, ghettopoly. who wouldn't want to play a game of monopoly with pawn shops, liquor stores, and crack houses? i certainly do! adding this baby to my birthday list this year. the lister on craigslist is selling it for $200, which i thought was highway robbery, but apprently this little treasure is being sold most places for over $400!! according to wikipedia due to the innopropriate and insulting content of the game, it was banned not long after its release. the creator was also sued by hasbro (which if you don't already know, although you should, is the company that makes monopoly). one day ghettopoly, you WILL be mine..let the bitch slapping and carjacking commence!